Most couples tell me they hate having their photograph taken. You don't need to get better at it. You need a photographer who doesn't ask you to perform. I'm Paul Hickey of Once in a Lifetime Photography, a Worcestershire wedding photographer with more than 150 weddings behind me. This is how I photograph people who would prefer not to be photographed.
You are not the odd one out
I ask every couple before the wedding how they feel about being photographed. Most say some version of "we're not really photo people". It is the most common answer I get.
That is useful to know. It tells me to keep portraits short and to stay out of your way.
Most of your wedding photographs are not posed at all
For most of the day, I don't ask you to do anything. I photograph what happens: getting ready, the ceremony, the hugs, the speeches, the dancing. That is documentary wedding photography.
You will not be looking at the camera in most of your photographs. You will be looking at each other, or at the people you invited.
The part that worries people is the portraits of the two of you. That part is 10 to 30 minutes, and you decide how long.
How I run a portrait session for camera-shy couples
We start with a walk
I begin a long way back. You walk together and I photograph from a distance, so I'm not in your face.
I give you a small game to play as you walk. It gets you talking to each other and not thinking about me. The first few minutes are usually when people stop feeling watched.
Then something as ordinary as a bench
If there is a bench, people always ask, "Which side should I sit?" It doesn't matter. Sit the way you would on a Sunday afternoon walk. Hold hands the way you normally do.
I keep it at that level. Nothing you wouldn't do in a park.
Two easy instructions
When I do ask for something, it is simple.
"Shoulder to shoulder, looking at me." That is the one your parents want for the mantelpiece. Two clicks and it's done.
"Belly button to belly button." Turn and face each other, holding hands. That is all it means.
No one is asked to gaze into the distance. I keep it light and quick, and I keep talking.
Short sessions, not one long one
Ten minutes after the family groups is enough for a set of portraits you'll be glad to have. Ten more near sunset if you want them. After dark, a creative night portrait takes 10 to 15 minutes. You mostly stand still while I do the work.
What you can do beforehand
Tell me how you feel. There is a question for it in my questionnaire. It changes how I plan your day.
Tell me what you don't like. A side you prefer, a smile you dislike, hands you never know what to do with. I'd sooner know.
Don't practise poses in a mirror. It makes people stiffer. Nothing I ask will need rehearsing.
Choose clothes you can move in. If you can walk, sit and hug in it, you will look relaxed in it.
Meet me or video call first. A camera is easier to ignore when you know the person holding it.
On the day
Look at each other, not at me. If you are not sure where to look, that is always the right answer.
Keep moving. Walking, swaying and talking all look better than standing still.
Give your hands a job. Hold hands, hold a drink, hold the bouquet.
Say if you've had enough. We stop. You have guests to get back to.
Would a pre-wedding shoot help?
It can, if nerves are your main worry. An hour with me before the wedding means the camera is familiar on the day. I've written about engagement and pre-wedding shoots and whether you need one.
It is not essential. Most of my couples don't have one, and they relax within a few minutes on the day.
Feeling comfortable in front of the camera: common questions
How do I look natural in my wedding photos?
Stop trying to. Talk to the person next to you and let the photographer do the watching. Natural photographs come from being busy with something else.
What if I hate having my photo taken?
Tell your photographer before the wedding. A good one will shorten the portraits and photograph you from further away.
How long do couple portraits take?
Ten to thirty minutes, and you choose. I often split them into two short sessions.
Do we have to pose?
No. I'll give you something simple to do, such as walking or facing each other. Nothing needs practice.
Will you tell us what to do with our hands?
Yes. Usually it is "hold hands" or "hold on to each other". If your hands look awkward, I'll say so and fix it.
Next steps
If you have booked me, tell me how you feel about photographs in your questionnaire. It is in your client portal now.
If you are still choosing a photographer, my wedding photography packages set out what is included. Once in a Lifetime Photography covers Worcestershire, the West Midlands, Herefordshire, Warwickshire and Shropshire. My work has earned several Wedisson Awards and a Flashmasters Gold Award.
Paul Hickey, Once in a Lifetime Photography · paul@onceinalifetimephotography.co.uk · 01905 900911
